Six Months In: From Moments to Meaning

Over the last few posts, I wrote about what changed, how the system slowly started organizing itself, and how my own understanding evolved alongside it.

In this final part, I want to put together the things that genuinely helped us this far — and distill a few things that other parents on a similar journey may find useful too.

The Frameworks

I want to briefly acknowledge the frameworks underneath a lot of this work - especially NDBI, JAML, and MTW.

When I started working with Aisha last November, I honestly had very limited understanding of these approaches in any deep or formal sense. But over time, one thing became very clear to me: these frameworks are incredibly powerful. Not just because they support developmental growth - but because they slowly change the way I as a caregiver started seeing interaction itself.

And one very important realization for me was this: what worked best for Aisha was not one framework in isolation. 

It was a combination. A hybrid.

Different pieces from different approaches started complementing each other naturally in real life.

Over time, it became less about following one model perfectly - and more about understanding what helped the interaction stay alive, meaningful, and sustainable for Aisha specifically.

And honestly, I have a huge amount of respect for the people behind this work - especially

NDBI - Laura Schreibman and others who helped shape these approaches over the years. 👏

JAML - Hannah H. Schertz and her colleagues👏

MTW(More Than Words) - Hanen Institute, Ontario 👏

Now coming to the things that actually is helping us the most -

Build Connection First 

Core realization: I initially thought communication and social interaction needed to be worked on directly. But over time, I realized something else had to strengthen first: connection. Once connection started building through Joint Attention, interaction became much easier and more natural for Aisha.

Operational: I stopped waiting only for clear words or responses.

Instead, I started treating:

• eye shifts
• pauses
• reaching
• small sounds
• half-words

as meaningful attempts to connect and responded to them immediately.

What to watch for: Moments where the child naturally:

• checks back
• pulls you into moments
• asks for help
• gestures
• acknowledges people in their own way

Anchor: Strengthen connection first, then add words. Without connection, words often don’t hold. The child might learn the words\sentences, but will not be able to apply much in real life.

Focus on intention first, words later 

Core realization: Earlier, my main focus was on teaching words directly. But over time, I noticed that many of those words did not hold consistently until they became connected to something Aisha was intentionally trying to communicate.

Operational: Instead of modelling words randomly, I started layering words onto moments where Aisha was already:

• asking for help
• pulling me somewhere
• gesturing toward something
• trying to continue an interaction

For example:
Aisha gestures or pulls me -> I model:

“Help”
“Open”
“Want”
“Come”

What to watch for: Moments where the child naturally:

• initiates
• requests
• gestures
• seeks assistance
• tries to continue or change something in the interaction

Anchor: Focus on intention first, then layer in words. Communication becomes much more meaningful when the child understands that their words can help them act on the world around them.

Adjust based on child state 

Core realization: A big shift for me was realizing that many difficult moments were not random behaviors, but signals about Aisha’s internal state. If she was irritated, disengaged, overwhelmed, or resistant, it often meant that she was overloaded or simply not available for learning at that moment.

Operational: On lower-energy or overloaded days:

• expectations became smaller
• interactions became shorter
• the focus shifted more toward connection and regulation

On better days:

• interactions naturally extended
• communication increased
• engagement became easier to sustain

What to watch for:

Moments where the child seems:

• unusually disengaged
• resistant
• overwhelmed
• low-energy
• easily dysregulated

Anchor: Before focusing on learning, first notice the child’s state. Regulation is not separate from learning — it is what makes learning possible.

Create Short frequent opportunities for interactions 

Core realization: One practice that helped us immensely was increasing the number of small interaction opportunities during everyday life. Instead of anticipating all of Aisha’s needs immediately, I started creating small pauses that gave her a chance to communicate first.

Operational: For example, instead of handing over a cookie immediately, I would place it somewhere visible but slightly out of reach. That small pause created an opportunity for interaction.

Aisha would:

• reach
• point
• stand near the cookie box
• look toward me

And I would naturally model words like:
“cookie”
“want cookie”
“I want cookie”

What to watch for:

Moments throughout the day where the child naturally:

• reaches
• waits
• points
• looks toward you
• tries to access something they want

Anchor: Create small opportunities throughout the day. Repeated meaningful interactions often builds communication more naturally and maybe faster than long structured practice.

Take Skills Into Real Life (Even If It Feels Messy)

Core realization: A big challenge throughout this journey was generalization. A skill would appear clearly at home, but suddenly become much weaker outside because different people, environments, sensory loads, and expectations changed the interaction completely.

Operational: Over time, I realized that building a skill at home was only the first step. The harder part was helping the skill survive in real-life situations:

• the park
• social gatherings
• grocery stores
• play with other children
• everyday routines outside home

I also worked closely with Aisha’s Occupational Therapist during this phase so that similar skills were being supported across both home and therapy environments.

What to watch for:

When skills move into real life, expect:

• slower responses
• more Ups and downs
• inconsistent performance
• temporary drops in engagement

That is often a normal part of generalization.

Anchor: Practice inside the home is only the beginning. Real learning starts becoming meaningful when the skill slowly survives across different people, places, and situations.

Treat activities as ways to connect

Core realization: One of the biggest shifts for me as a caregiver was realizing that completing an activity did not necessarily mean Aisha was truly connected inside the interaction. Without realizing it, I was sometimes prioritizing performance and compliance more than connection.

Operational: Instead of focusing mainly on - 

• finishing the task
• getting the “correct” response
• completing the activity

I started focusing more on keeping the interaction alive and connected. Sometimes that meant pausing, resetting, following her lead, or rejoining the interaction later instead of forcing it through.

What to watch for:

Moments where the child:

• loses engagement
• disconnects emotionally
• starts responding mechanically
• completes the task without real interaction

Those moments often need reconnection more than more pressure.

Anchor: The real goal is not perfect completion. It is connection, participation, and staying engaged together inside the interaction.

Start with child's Natural motivation

Core realization: Learning became much easier — and the interactions became much more meaningful — when Aisha was already naturally motivated in that moment. And motivation did not always mean something big; sometimes it was as simple as wanting water, a snack, a toy, help opening something, or wanting a game to continue.

Operational: Instead of creating separate structured learning all the time, I started building interactions around things Aisha already naturally wanted or enjoyed:

• play
• songs
• games
• snacks
• coloring
• daily routines

That made the communication feel much more natural and easier to sustain.

What to watch for: Moments where the child naturally - 

• approaches
• requests
• waits
• seeks continuation
• shows excitement or emotional investment

Those moments often become the easiest entry points for interaction and learning.

Anchor: Motivation is often the doorway into learning. Start with what naturally matters to the child, and build the interaction from there.

Watch for endurance and not just ability

Core realization: One thing I slowly realized was that ability and endurance are not always the same thing. A child may successfully do something once or twice — but sustaining the interaction for longer can be a completely different challenge.

Operational: Instead of constantly introducing something new, I started paying more attention to how long Aisha could stay engaged inside the interaction comfortably.

That often meant building gradually:

• 2 turns → 3 turns → 4 turns
• slightly longer back-and-forth
• slightly longer shared engagement

without forcing long sessions.

What to watch for:

Notice:

• how long the interaction stays connected
• when engagement starts dropping
• whether the child can recover and continue again

Sometimes endurance improves before new visible skills appear.

Anchor: Development is not only about learning new things. It is also about slowly being able to stay inside interaction for longer periods of time.

No panic during dips, it will pass

Core realization: One of the hardest things for me was learning that dips do not always mean progress is disappearing. Sometimes lower engagement, inconsistent responses, or reduced communication were connected to overload, fatigue, illness, regulation changes, or even the system reorganizing itself during new learning phases.

Operational: When these phases appeared, I slowly learned to:

• reduce pressure
• simplify interactions
• lower expectations temporarily
• focus more on connection and regulation
• instead of immediately trying to “fix” the situation.

What to watch for: If you notice:

• less talking
• lower engagement
• inconsistent responses
• quicker fatigue
• shorter interactions

first check the context:

• sleep
• health
• overload
• routine changes
• new developmental demands

Anchor: Dips are often temporary. Sometimes the system is still reorganizing underneath, even when visible progress feels less clear.

Track It!

Core realization: This might be one of the most important parts of the entire process. Tracking does not just help us understand where the child is heading — it also helps ground us as parents. And honestly, grounding changes everything.

Operational: Over time, I realized that many difficult questions came from uncertainty:

• Is this therapy helping?
• Are we moving in the right direction?
• Is this a temporary dip or something bigger?
• Should we change approaches?

Tracking helped me step back and see patterns more clearly instead of reacting emotionally to isolated moments.

What to watch for:

Try observing:

• whether interactions are becoming easier
• whether engagement is lasting longer
• whether communication is becoming more intentional
• whether skills are slowly generalizing across settings

Small shifts become much easier to notice when they are tracked consistently over time.

Note: One thing I strongly believe now is that parents deserve clarity around where their child’s skills actually are.

During this journey, I often heard things like:
“we don’t rate”
“development cannot be measured like that”
“parents may judge progress too much”

And yes, development naturally has ups and downs. I completely agree with that. But fluctuations does not mean we should avoid observing or tracking skills altogether.

As parents, we deserve to understand:

• what is emerging
• what is becoming stable
• what breaks under load
• what is generalizing
• and where support is still needed

Not to judge the child — but to understand the developmental trajectory more clearly.

Because without some form of structured tracking, uncertainty can quietly take over decision-making for families.

Anchor: Tracking is not only about measuring progress. It is also about creating clarity, reducing uncertainty, and understanding the road ahead more calmly for the caregiver.

Where We Are Now

Right now:

• the core systems are working
• skills are present and generalizing
• interaction is real

The next challenge is not learning something new. It is: building endurance and deeper interaction over time.

For Any Parent Reading This

If you are just starting:

• it may feel slow
• it may feel unclear
• it may feel like nothing is working

That doesn’t always mean nothing is happening.

Sometimes it means: the foundation is still forming. And once that connects, things can start making more sense.

What’s Next

Over the next few months, the focus shifts to:

• longer interactions
• more natural conversations
• richer social experiences

The goal is not just to do things. It’s to stay in them longer and build from there.

Conclusion: 

Six months ago, we were trying to create moments.
Today, we are building a system that holds them.