The Miracle Month

 

“Development is not a ladder with evenly spaced steps.”

— Kurt Fischer

Introduction - 

After December's regression & overload, January started with uncertainty and apprehension for me. Though Aisha was already showing signs of regaining certain skills that she had acquired in November, it was still not consistent. 

I had already started working on the next milestones for Joint Attention and Early communication. But this time it was different! Way different from December and November. As the month progressed, Aisha suddenly started showing signs of exponential growth! The turn taking, requesting skills in which she had previously regressed, started coming back. And they did not just come back, they came back with a Bang💥!  I was witnessing the onset of rapid acquisition.

We both kept on working as and when needed. The key was to embed everything in daily routines - the speech and the JA initiation skills. This allowed Aisha to participate without any heavy cognitive load and took care of variations and generalization across different contexts. This is exactly what I wanted and is aligned to NDBI principles combined with JAML and MTW techniques. 

Here’s what this looked like in practice - 

Joint Attention -

Joint Attention stage - Initiates and sustains Joint Play with shared Attention.

What it's about - This stage is about bringing me into play and staying connected for longer periods - not necessarily playing perfectly together.

What to expect - Expectation from this milestone was not perfect play but shared connection. I wanted Aisha to invite me into activities in small ways — through looks, smiles, gestures, or simple turn-taking. Our play happened in short bursts rather than long stretches, often followed by breaks. These brief moments of shared attention were enough, because the real progress was her choosing to include me and stay connected, even if only for a little while.

What not to expect yet - I was not expecting long pretend play, sustained engagement, or play that followed rules. This stage is still about building the foundation of connection, not complexity. If the interaction remained simple, imperfect, or short-lived, that was completely appropriate for where she was developmentally.

An Example Initiation Activity - 

One activity that worked beautifully, actually came from real life - Getting Ready to go somewhere. We did it together. I would slow down on purpose during the routine and pause at natural moments, then wait for Aisha to restart the next step. 

For example, while applying cream, I would begin normally and then suddenly stop, holding the cream where she could see it but saying nothing. The pause itself became the invitation. Sometimes she reached for my hand, sometimes she said a single word like “cream.” Whatever signal she gave, I immediately responded, gently modeling the phrase or expanding on it "put cream" and continuing the routine.

Here is how we did it - 

The same pattern worked during combing hair and getting dressed. Aisha learnt that when the routine paused, then she could take action to bring it back to life again. Her role here was simple - just notice the pause - signal in anyway she can(gestures, words anything counts) - and become an active participant in restarting the moment.

This small shift turned an ordinary routine into a shared interaction and allowed initiation to emerge naturally. There was no prompting required anymore.

Communication -

 

For communication we were still in this stage - Combines two words to make simple requests. My focus at this state is Aisha to have functional speech first. We can build precision later. Aisha MUST first be able to convey what she needs and wants even if it is grammatically incorrect\not precise or even gesture. JA is building connection, I now have to layer speech so that Aisha can attach words to the connection. Right now Aisha saying - "pour water" by pointing to a glass trumps "pour water in glass" 😉.

What this communication milestone is about - This stage is about combining meaning into small two-word requests, not having conversations or speaking in full sentences.

What to expect - 

At this stage, communication was not about conversations but about combining meaning into small, functional two-word requests. I began to hear repeated phrases like “want juice” or “help me,” often supported by gestures or pointing. Most communication still needed gentle setup and modeling from me and appeared mainly during familiar routines. These exchanges were brief, but meaningful — short moments where Aisha used words and actions together to express a need.

What not to expect yet - 

I was not expecting questions, storytelling, or independent conversations at this point. Talking about feelings, explaining events, or sustaining back-and-forth dialogue was still developmentally ahead. The focus here was simply helping communication emerge with purpose, even if it was incomplete, repetitive, or dependent on support.

An Example 2 Words Building Activity - 

For this I used a simple snack building activity where we could both choose the ingredients and place the food on the plate. I would place a couple of different cookies or crackers, apples, bananas etc in front and then lift one in front of her pausing briefly for her to respond.

Any signal she gave counted, a look, a reach or a point.. anything. Then I would match her choice and expand on top of that by saying "apple please" or "more cookies" or "yummy bananas" etc. This showed her that communication changed the outcome. 

We practiced this pattern overtime during lunch, dinner in short playful terms keeping the interaction predictable and without pressure. Over time, these tiny exchanges created many natural opportunities for combining gestures and words, helping requests emerge without forcing speech.

The Miracle - 

While all the activities were going on a day to day basis, something happened. One day, Aisha was just walking around the house. In one of the stretches there was water on the floor. She did not notice it. She slipped and fell. She hurt her knee badly that day. She was not crying as usual (she does not cry when she gets hurt). I rushed to her and instinctively asked her like every time where did she get the boo boo? And to my amazement, she pointed to her knee and said "boo boo!".

A strange feeling spread across me at that moment. For a split second I was extremely happy...! After that I rushed to get the ice bag and we iced it together. 

Now lets talk about the extreme happiness part.. lol😅. Well you see, this is the first time Aisha has actually shown by pointing where it hurts. Till now she used to internalize the pain. She did not show, or she did not know how to connect to the pain in anyway. Couple of months back when she fractured her elbow, she was quiet. She did not say anything, did not show, did not cry, just a face full of pain. Then she did not know that making connection can actually get her help! But this time its different. She shows! At last, after 8 long years, she has shown where she has got hurt. Yayyy!!!!!!!! A Miracle!

Till that day whenever Aisha fell, got hurt at school or at home or somewhere else, I used to guess where she could get hurt. I would hold her, check all her joints for any swelling or redness etc. Then ultimately when I could not find anything, then unleash my last and ultimate weapon "The Paracetamol". After that I would keep on praying to god that - "wherever the pain is, god please subside it!" 

You will not believe the tension I will have after that, keep on checking on her from time to time, thinking whether I should rush her to the hospital or not and thousands of other possibilities rushing in my mind. But, this time I know where she is hurt, where the pain is, I can put my ice bag exactly there. If the swelling and redness does not subside then I can take further steps. Suddenly the pressure is off, the tension gone... 😁. I know what to do, And This changes everything!

Developmentally this is exactly what Joint Attention builds, the urgency to connect! I will need to highlight 2 things about what she did in that moment of distress that she was going through - 

1. She pointed -> Social Referencing, showing others by pointing
2. She Connected  -> Connecting via communication - by saying "boo boo"

Remember the tenet that I wrote in the last post? - JA creates the urgency to connect, connection creates the urgency to communicate and the need to communicate creates the urgency for speech? That is exactly what happened here.

A true Joint Attention Miracle👌. Aisha now knows that asking for help or connecting is actually nice and relieving. She asks for help or says "Daddy come here" whenever she needs something all the time now, Lol.

Now the progress - 

Joint Attention - Stage - Initiates and sustains Joint Play with shared Attention.

The Joint Attention graph shows a clear phase of rapid acquisition at the beginning of January, where Aisha began initiating more naturally across routines and daily interactions. This was followed by a brief instability period, not a loss of skill, but a phase where engagement fluctuated as the new ability was settling. Once this adjustment passed, her initiation stabilized and remained consistent through early February. After I saw this steady pattern, I understood that the skill had integrated and reached a developmental plateau.

Communication - Stage - Combines two words to make simple requests

The communication graph followed a slightly different rhythm. After an early rise, there was a temporary slowing where word combinations and requests became less frequent. Rather than regression, this appeared to be a reorganization phase while the underlying connection skills strengthened. But from mid-January onward, communication returned with greater consistency. The gestures and words were beginning to work together more reliably. That is when I came to the conclusion that the skill has been integrated and I went on to the next developmental step.

Interesting Correlation - An interesting pattern emerged around mid-January (Jan 19th in the graph) - both Joint Attention and Communication began strengthening at the same time. It felt as if improved connection was supporting language growth and acquisition. Joint Attention was providing the foundation that allowed communication to organize and expand.

Conclusion - 

Reflecting back on December, it was a month of regression and overload. It tested my belief in the frameworks, my ability as an untrained parent to administer intervention's and most importantly I started to doubt myself. Was I doing it the right way? Should I keep on continuing? Is a parent really not the correct person to administer interventions? - were the questions that kept on coming in my mind. 

January has cast all my doubts into oblivion. Now, as Aisha and I settle in the flow, we both are going ahead at full speed. 

In the next month post I will talk about what I started next after Joint Attention as this was the last milestone that Aisha needed to upskill. For communication also we upgrade to the next one. 

One thing is pretty clear though, development of skills is going to have ups and downs, its not evenly spaced. There will be sudden breakthroughs followed by a period of calmness or sometimes even chaotic. Then it will suddenly click and become consistent. I go into the next month with this insight.

Till then goodbye and take care.