Then vs Now

In the last post, I showed how things evolved over time and the way all the domains have started to work in tandem. In this one I will put together what it looked like in everyday life.

Then

In the beginning, things showed up here and there, but they didn’t hold or carry forward.

Attention, for example, didn’t hold. There would be small moments — she would look, maybe engage briefly — but it would drop quickly. I often had to bring her into the moment, and even then, it was hard to sustain.

Communication was similar. There were signals, sometimes even words, but they didn’t always carry clear intent. A lot of it depended on prompting, and many times I was guessing what she meant rather than understanding it directly.

Socially, it was even more visible. She would be around other children for a very short while, see them, and come back — but not really enter the interaction. Engagement was short, often one-sided, and easy to lose.

And underneath all of this, one thing affected everything — Regulation. If she was tired or uncomfortable, everything would drop. Whatever skills were visible would disappear, and we would be back to square one.

Most of what we saw also stayed inside structured activities or inside therapy rooms. It was hard to see the same things show up outside — in the park, at home, or in real-world situations or in front of other people. Almost everything was prompted, even a simple greeting like `Hi` was prompted.

And as a parent, my lens was very simple:

• Is this working?
• Did she do it?
• Why did she drop?
• Is she not feeling well?
• Does she not like it?
• How is she feeling?

Now

Now, the picture looks very different.

Attention is no longer something I have to create. It’s something we share. She looks, checks back, and stays engaged — not just in structured activities, but across routines and real-world situations.

Communication has changed in a deeper way. It’s not just about words appearing — it’s about intent becoming clear. She initiates, responds, and uses language for a reason. Even when it’s not perfect, it is meaningful. It's no longer robotic, it is starting to feel like life!

This is how it looks like in real life: A small moment — she looks, checks back, and keeps the interaction going.

Social interaction has started to open up. She doesn’t just stay around others — she begins to enter the interaction. There are small back-and-forth loops now. Still short, still growing — but clearly two-way.

Initiation, which was rare earlier, is now visible. She asks, shares, and seeks engagement on her own.

This is how it looks in real life: A small moment — she steps in, works through what’s happening, and stays in it.

Regulation still matters — but it no longer breaks everything.

Even when she is tired, the skills are still there. They fluctuate, but they don’t disappear. They now surface under stress - for example - 

• when hurt - she says `boo boo here` 
• when sleepy - she says - `I am feeling sleepy` 
• when hungry - she says `I am hungry`

Earlier those were the exact points where she used to get dysregulated leading to tantrums and meltdowns.

And most importantly, these skills are no longer limited to structured settings. They show up in real life — in the park, in routines, in social situations — most of the time without prompting.

My lens as a parent has changed too.

From:

Did she do it?

To:

• What signal did she give?
• What affected her today?
• What does she need right now?

I have summarized all of this and have put all of this in the table below for better understanding - 

Looking at it this way, the change wasn’t just about doing more or learning more. It was about things starting to connect.

Attention made communication easier.
Communication made interaction possible.
And once interaction started, everything began reinforcing itself.

What felt earlier like separate struggles were actually parts of the same system — just not aligned yet. Now that they are coming together, the progress looks different.

More natural. More usable. More real.

In the next post, I’ll break down what actually drove this shift — because understanding that changed how I approached everything.

Six Months In: This is what actually changed

Quick Recap - 

Aisha was diagnosed autistic at the age of 2.5 years. She is now 8. Over the last 6 months I have been working with her on her developmental goals alongside the ongoing therapies (OT & Speech). 

I based this on a mix of naturalistic, evidence-informed approaches (like NDBI, JAML, and MTW), adapting them for what we could actually do in everyday situations. I’ll share more about this in a later post. 

When we began, I was trying to figure out if anything was working. There were small moments, a lot of doubt, and many days that didn’t make sense. Over time, I started documenting everything - not just what Aisha did, but what I was seeing underneath it.

This post is different from the previous ones. I’ve stripped away the fluff and focused only on what actually made sense over the last six months - what changed, what worked, what didn’t, and what I’ve learned along the way.

When I started in November 2025, the goal was simple:

Could I meaningfully support Aisha’s development at home and accelerate her progress alongside therapy?

But six months in, one thing has become clear:

This isn’t just about complementing therapies. As a parent, I can do much more than I initially thought.

The Journey -  

This is not just a before-and-after. It’s how the journey actually unfolded. I will break it into multiple short posts for better readability. Here we go - 

We started working on three core systems - Joint Attention, Early Communication and Social Interaction. 

We started with Joint Attention - building connection first. Once the Joint Attention foundation was solidified, we started to layer in the communication. I observed that connection helped retain functional words and Aisha started using them with purpose. 

Once we progressed a bit, I observed one more thing - Aisha would stare at a group of children when near to them or she would stand close to them. But she was unable to get in the interaction. She did not know how. I treated this as a signal. I wanted to capitalize on her intent and immediately started the Social Interaction interventions with her. 

At that time I did not fully understand how the three domains would interact. There were constant questions - 

• Am I doing it right? 
• Am I going too fast? 
• Am I reading the signals wrong? 

I did not have answers then. But over time something became clear. I realized that  - 

Direction is not the problem. The system was starting to align!

Data Became The Guide - 

To answer these questions and understand where things were heading, I turned to data.

Below is a domain-wise progression and loading view of the three core systems over six months:

1. (Nov) — Foundation

Joint Attention began to build

• Shared attention started emerging
• More noticing and brief engagement
• Early connection, but not sustained

2. (Dec) — Communication Activation

Intent started turning into expression

• Requests and signals became clearer
• First meaningful use of words/signals
• Still inconsistent, but purposeful

3. (Feb) — Social Reciprocity

Interaction became two-way

• Turn-taking crystallized
• Shared interaction loops appeared
• Responses were no longer one-sided

4. (Mar–Apr) — Integrated Growth

All domains started working together

• Attention, communication, and social began reinforcing each other
• Skills showed up in real-life situations
• More stable, more natural interaction

What It Meant For Me:

Over these six months, three things shifted:

• Attention moved from something I had to create -> to something we shared
• Communication moved from prompted words -> to meaningful use
• Interaction moved from participation -> to real back-and-forth

And the most important part: 

these did not grow separately - they built on each other

Looking at it this way, the progression stopped feeling random and started making sense. In the next post, I will translate this into real life - what actually changed in everyday situations, then vs now.